How to Preserve a Husband

Being a new bride, keeping my husband happy and comfortable is naturally one of my main concerns and interests. I came across the following in an old canning book of my mother's. She assures me this recipe is a good one and worth following. Enjoy!


How to Preserve a Husband

Be careful in your selection. Do not choose too young. When selected, give you entire thoughts to preparation for domestic use. Some wives insist upon keeping them in a pickle, others are constantly getting them into hot water. This may make them sour, hard, and sometimes bitter; even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender and good, by garnishing them with patience, sweetened with love and seasoned with kisses. Wrap them in a mantle of charity. Keep warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion and serve with peaches and cream. Thus prepared, they will keep for years.

--from the Ball Blue Book, Copyright 1972

Chickens under my Sink

I never really thought I would leave the country for the city. I've always been a country girl who couldn't imagine living in the city (shudder shudder!)
Now I'm a bride of two and a half months who has left the farm and is living in an apartment in a big city. It has been an adjustment and is almost completely different from the way of life I had during my growing up years.
My little sisters are still having trouble imagining me in another environment. One day shortly before I was married my mom and sisters were over at the apartment with me and Hannah (age 4) posed the following question:
"Bec, where are you gonna keep your chickens?"
"Well, I'm not going to have chickens while I live in the city sweetheart."
She gave me an incredulous look. "Then WHO are you gonna feed your table scraps to?"
"Well,I'll either put them in the trash or in the garbage disposal."
This brought a blank look from the four-year-old. I started trying to explain a garbage disposal in terms a four-year-old could comprehend. More blank stares from Hannah. Finally I said, "It's like having chickens under my sink."
This statement made her eyes grow very large and her mouth drop open. I just changed the subject. I could just imagine Hannah telling our little cousins that Bec had CHICKENS under her sink.
A few weeks after the wedding, Mom and the girls came to see me. The girls were very curious about everything in our apartment and I told them that they could "meddle" so long as they didn't drag anything out. Hannah was contentedly going through my kitchen cabinets and had come to the doors under the sink.
Just as she was about to open the cabinet under the sink, my mom rather facetiously said, "Don't let Bec's chickens out!"
Hannah pulled her had back as if she had been bitten by a snake, her eyes as big as saucers.
Finally to prove to Hannah and Lydia (age 2) that there were not chickens under my sink, I eventually had to let them sit on the kitchen counter and let them "feed" pizza crust to the sink.
They finally believed me, but later I saw them looking under the sink again, just to make sure.