Two Under Two—18 Days in and my 200th post

I have survived 18 days of having two children under the age of two. How am I doing? I’m exhausted, that’s how I’m doing. That whole “sleep when the baby sleeps!” thing doesn’t work when you have a toddler running around, pulling things out of cabinets and climbing on the kitchen table. She also has learned how to open screw-top lids and open doors in the last week and a half.
****Note: both of my children are asleep right now—WHAT AM I DOING WRITING A BLOG POST INSTEAD OF NAPPING?! What’s wrong with me?*****
The first 15 days weren’t so bad—I had my mom and then my sister staying with me to help. Three days ago when my mom came to take my sister home, she was highly amused at me clinging to the hem of her skirt begging “Don’t leave me!”
And what is really sad is that yesterday was really my first real day totally alone with the girls.  I texted my husband a little after lunch and let him know that all I’d really accomplished that day was changing diapers, nursing the baby, and pumping (I’m trying to keep a breast infection at bay right now). I felt I should give the poor fellow warning before he came home to the disaster area that used to be known as our home. He graciously replied, “It’s ok, sweetheart. Are you doing ok? Do I need to pick anything up from the store for you?” I married a very smart man…

We never know what our nights will hold. Princess Tiny still has her days and nights mixed up for the most part and we are trying to help her with that, but who knows what time she’ll decided to actually go to sleep each night. Swaddle blankets and a box fan for noise are helping, though, and we are trying to establish a routine.
Princess Littles—who is capable of sleeping through the night, but rarely does—is nearly as unpredictable as her baby sister.  Bedtimes are pretty easy, when she gets tired she wants her blanket and bed (Hello Linus!) but when she wakes during the night—sometimes two or three times—we never know what kind of mood she’ll be in and how long it will take to get her back down. Part of this is  because of all of the change in her little life in the last two weeks and she is in her own room now, but she has shown us that she can sleep all night—when she wants too.
My poor husband, who is not as used to sleep deprivation as I am, has been a real champ through it all. Because he does have to get up and go to work each day, I try to only wake him to help with the girls at night if I absolutely have to. About a week ago in the young marrieds’ class at our church, our pastors’ wife said something to the effect of “And you couples who are wanting to have children in the near future—“ “DON’T DO IT!” my husband weakly called out. Everyone got quite a laugh from it. She said “And that comes from the Daddy of a toddler and a newborn!”

It has been tough the last 18 days (mostly the nights), and it has really tested me and is letting me see what my true limits are and how very, very much I need the Lord and His grace and strength.  Is it worth it? Even sitting here needing coffee, exhausted as all get out, my immediate answer is “YES! A thousand times, yes.”
The rough nights and endless messes  are (almost!) forgotten when Livie comes and gives me a kiss just because and says “Love you.’' Or when she is so sweet with her baby sister and worries when she cries. There is nothing like sweet baby snuggles and smiles.
It all makes what little sleep we do get all the more precious. This is just a season, and one day I’ll miss the chaos and craziness that is our life right now.
So Happy Valentine’s Day—I’m off to make some more coffee. My kids are waking up.

Kate’s Birth Day

January 27^th, 2015—Tuesday

40 weeks, 4 days

I woke up Tuesday morning around 6:30 and got out of bed to kiss Jacob goodbye for work. When I stood up out of bed I felt a little gush. After he left, I went to the bathroom and there was a fair amount of blood in my panties. I got very excited—this was the most promising sign I'd had so far. I hadn't had any real signs or “exciting” contractions at all.

I'd had a fairly uneventful night, with maybe one contraction throughout the night. I hoped that this was a sign that I'd be in real labor by that evening and maybe holding our baby by Wednesday morning. My labor with Olivia was around 7 1/2-8 hours long, with intense, active labor being around 3 hours long.

I went back to bed and had a very good contraction at 7am. About 7-8 minutes later, I had another one. They didn't stop, but grew stronger and I couldn't fall back asleep or ignore them. I decided to time them—with Livie I would have good strong contractions for an hour, then they would stop. I did that all weekend the weekend that Livie was born. I was expecting more of the same. I put a shower curtain under the bottom sheet to protect my mattresss, just in case my water broke.

I'd sent Jacob several texts and he hadn't responded. When he had left for work, I didn't know what was about to the transpire. I waited a little while and timed some more contractions, then decided to call him and let him know what was going on. He was going to finish up a few things and then stop by the store for a few things I needed. Livie woke up in the midst of all of this, around 7:45.

I called my mom to give her a heads up that today might be the big day. The contractions were getting stronger, and she could tell over the phone. She asked me if I'd called Alice yet, and I said no, I was waiting a little longer just to be sure. I was afraid it was a false alarm. She said that no, I needed to call her immediately and let her know.

I called Miranda (Alice's daughter and other midwife in the practice) and told her all that had happened and what was going on, and she had me time the next four contractions and send her the information. She also wanted to know how quickly Jacob could get home and/or how quickly I could have someone with me to take care of Livie. I told her ten minutes at the most—my MIL hadn't left for work yet, and Jacob works 6 minutes away from the house.

After I'd timed the next four contractions she called me back and said for Jacob to come home immediately and that I needed to have a protein shake so I wouldn't be laboring on an empty stomach.

I called Jacob and told him he needed to come home right now and to ask his mom to go to the store for us before she came and picked up Livie.

By this point I was already having to start breathing through each contraction, they were growing noticeably stronger, and I couldn't get up out of the recliner.

When he got home he fixed me a protein shake (which I was only able to drink a few sips of) and I asked him to run some warm bath water for me. I was still in my pj's and hadn't had a chance to change into the gown I wanted to wear for the birth and hadn't had a chance to fix my hair.

Miranda texted me and let me know that Alice was getting ready to leave.

He helped me move to the bed and started getting things ready to set up the pool I'd bought to labor in. After I got in bed, I seemed to lose all sense of time, so I'm not sure exactly time-wise when things began to happen.

My mom got to our house first and began to help Jacob get things in order. Shortly after, my mother-in-law arrived and started getting Livie (who was still in her pj's too) ready to leave.

Jacob asked me several times if I wanted him to get the pool ready. By this point, I didn't think I could move and didn't think that we had time to fill the pool before I had the baby.

Alice called Jacob several times to verify directions to our house and let us know where she was.

About 15 minutes before Alice got to our house, I felt Kate's head move down. This freaked me out, to be honest. With Livie's birth, once I felt that, I was pushing with the next contraction. I was afraid that Alice wouldn't make it in time. I told Jacob and he assured me that she would be here in time.

My water still hadn't broken at this point. With Livie, it broke almost three hours before she was born. I started wondering if the contractions really weren't as bad as I thought and I was just being a wimp. I was afraid that Alice would check me and I would still have quite a bit left to dilate. Truthfully I didn't think I was in enough pain yet.

She finally came walking into my bedroom right around 10am. She checked me and I was at an 8! I was so excited. She said we would have a baby within the hour. In between contractions, I told Jacob to call my friend Casey who was going to be at the birth and tell her if she was going to make it in time, she'd better hurry. She later told me she made it to our house in 4 minutes.

Shortly after Casey arrived, Alice told me that if I wanted to push with the next contraction, she could help me finish dilating and speed things up. The next contraction I said “Ok” and pushed.

With Livie, I pushed a few times in the bathtub, then moved to the bed and pushed a few times on my back, then she had me move to the floor and squat. I expected to do the same with this birth, but Alice never had me move.

After several good pushes, I suddenly felt very nauseous. I vomited a few times with my first birth, so we were prepared for it, and had a bowl beside the bed. I knew I was about to throw up and I asked for the bowl, but my voice was so weak and quiet from pushing no one heard me until it was too late. I was flat on my back and vomit went everywhere thankfully it was mostly only liquid since I hadn't really eaten anything in the last several hours. It got all in my hair and all over my pillows. Alice exclaimed “Oh no! Not in her hair!” (My hair is to my knees and it is a major ordeal to wash it—not something you want to have to do immediately after giving birth.)

One or two contractions/pushes later, my water broke at 10:47am. Thirteen minutes later, Katelynn was born into my husband's hands—mad and screaming at the top of her lungs. She was not pleased with being forced outside.

From the very first contraction until she was born was only four hours. No warning or “early” labor—I woke up in active labor. It was very surprising to me and nothing at all like I'd expected. Because my water didn't break until right before Kate was born, the contractions were much more manageable and not as painful as with my first birth. Also, with Kate's birth I never really felt the urge to push like I did with Olivia. And I didn't feel like a screaming banshee this time either ;)

I had no tearing, which has made my recovery so much better and easier this time around and I felt so wonderful so fast afterwards I couldn't believe it.

Katelynn Avery weighed 8 lbs, 4 oz, and was 21 ½ inches long. Her head was 13 ½ inches around—just like her big sister's.

She was born on my great-grandmother's birthday—which was exactly what I had hoped and prayed for. The weather was beautiful and perfect and warm—another answered prayer. She was born during the day, making it easier on her big sister—no overnight stay away from us—she just went to play at Grammy's house and came home to a new baby. This was another answered prayer.

All in all, except for the vomit, I couldn't have asked for a better or more perfect birth. The second was much easier than the first! We are so thankful!

Back again…

You know those days (or weeks, or months) when time seems to speed by and you forget about or are too busy for non-essential activities (like writing blog posts)? I’ve been in one of those seasons it feels for quite a while. My life has been full of lots of excitement and surprises over the last few months. But I’m back, at least for right now.

Our Livie is 14 months old now. I can’t believe our baby is becoming so grown up. She can walk, but is very choosy about when she does. She has an ever growing vocabulary and is constantly keeping us on our toes and entertained. Livie is handling being weaned much better than I thought she would and hopefully she will be completely weaned by the end of the month. It has been a very sweet time for us nursing, but it’s time move on.

Why? Because….

Yep, our little family is growing again! Peanut is expected at the end of January. At the end of this month we should find out if we are getting another Princess or if Daddy is getting his Hunting Buddy. This baby was *quite* a surprise, but we are so excited about it. I never thought I’d have two under the age of two!

Morning sickness with a tiny toddler was a challenge I wasn’t looking forward to, but I survived. In the midst of it we dealt with a nightmarish stomach virus (Jacob and I) and Livie has been battling terrible sinus drainage. Thankfully we had help and made it through. It is times like these that make me realize just how much I need the Lord’s help, and make me call out to Him even more.

Now I’m trying to get back into a routine. I didn’t cook much at all during those crazy weeks of morning sickness and everything else so I’ve been trying to cook and eat at home more. I’ve really had trouble getting back on my feet this time. Our little Tornado makes housekeeping a challenge, to say the least. Some days I’m just thankful that my husband has clean clothes for work the next day.

I’m getting there, and with the Lord’s help, things will even out soon ;)

Olivia’s Birth Day

Six weeks later, all of the details of Livie’s birth are a little fuzzy. What all of the women say is true—you do forget how things felt and all you remember is how wonderful it was to hold your baby at last. I’m glad I wrote some things down. My favorite version of her  birth story is the one that my husband tells—he makes me sound like Superwoman. ;)

Finally, after months of waiting, and holding our breath to see if we would be able to attend a wedding shortly before the baby was due, the weekend of her due date arrived. We’d been on pins and needles as I’d been having lots of Braxton and Hicks contractions for the two preceding weeks.

Jacob and I at the wedding—38 weeks and ready to pop!

Saturday, June 15th:  Early in the morning I had a good contraction that woke me up. I made myself go back to sleep. I knew I’d need rest if this was the real deal.   Around 8 AM I was still having consistent contractions so I woke Jacob and called my midwife. She said she would come and check on me and re-verified directions to our home. I called my mom to let her know and she said to let her know what Alice said. With lots of little ones at home I didn’t want Mom to make the hour and a half drive for a false alarm.

Waiting for Alice to get there—my last pregnant photo.

My house was a wreck, and I needed to buy groceries. I had planned to take care of everything that day, but now was afraid I wouldn’t be able to. Jacob called his parents and my mother-in-law came in like a whirlwind and cleaned and my father-in-law took my list and went shopping.

Once again, my contractions followed their pattern from the previous two weeks: consistent, closer together and stronger, then suddenly stop or space way out after an hour—almost to the minute.  By the time Alice arrived at my house, they had stopped. She checked me and I was at  4cm, which was two more than I had been at my appointment earlier that week. So they weren’t in vain. Alice said that every centimeter I could dilate before I went into active labor was one less that I’d  have to work for later.

She stayed for an hour and told me to get lots of rest and that she’d probably see me soon. So we did. And I got bored.  I didn’t have another contraction (not even a little one) for hours. We rested most of the day and my in-laws came over again that afternoon. For some reason I started craving steak. We didn’t know what tomorrow (which was Father’s Day) would hold, so my father-in-law suggested we celebrate that evening and go out if I felt like it. I said that that was fine, so long as we ate steak.  Yes, a heavy steak is the ideal meal to eat when you could go into labor at any minute. What was I thinking?

We had a great time and I had about an hour’s worth of good contractions that I ignored.  We came home, played a few games of dominoes, and went to bed.  I had already said that I was not going to church the next morning, I knew I needed to rest. And what could be more embarrassing than having your water break at church, right?

Sunday, June 16th: We slept in and I woke up feeling really good. Then I remembered that I still hadn’t bought sheets for the twin size bed that my mom was going to sleep on when she stayed with us. We only had queen sized sheets. Before I started panicking about my mother having a place to sleep Jacob said we’d just go to the store and get some and pick up some things for supper. He was in the mood to cook. And we both thought the walk would do me some good.

We went to the store and made it home without anything exciting happening and I took another nap. Jacob was really hoping that the baby would be born on Father’s Day—that would have been the ultimate Father’s Day gift.

Jacob fixed an amazing supper—pork roast, green bean casserole, potatoes, carrots—another huge, heavy meal. But it was so good!

We played dominoes again and around 6PM strong contractions began again. I started timing them, but expected them to follow the pattern again and stop in an hour. They didn’t, and I began having trouble concentrating on the game when I would have one. Jacob found it highly amusing ;)

At 11PM, contractions were still happening and they were closer together and beginning to take my breathe away. I sent Alice a text and she said she was headed our way. She got to our house at 11:30 and I called Mom to let her know that Alice was coming again. Alice checked me and I had dilated any more, but my bag of waters was very bulgy and I was really in labor this time!

I called my mom again and let her know that this was the real deal and she said she was about to leave.

Alice encouraged me to try and sleep as much as I could. We all rested for a while. I didn’t sleep much, but I tried to between contractions. Jacob slept soundly.

Monday, June 17th:  At 2AM my water broke. It was the weirdest feeling ever and it actually made me jump, and that woke Jacob up. I told Alice, “My water just broke! How could anyone ‘think’ their water broke? I felt it!” We all laughed a little bit and then the next contraction hit me. It hit me so hard that after it was over I vomited. It was crazy how much of a difference there was between the contractions before my water broke and afterwards.

My mom arrived right after that.  Not too long after that I needed a bathroom break so I went. I had another awful (good) contraction and threw up everywhere again. I think all of the vomit overwhelmed my poor husband. I told him, “Don’t worry about it, Mama will take care of it.” Having her there was such a help and I was able to relax and not worry about things.

The rest of the time is pretty fuzzy in my memory. My husband was such a trooper. He literally held me through every contraction and sacrificed his hands to I could have something to hold onto. He jokingly said that he hoped we could both still play our instruments when it was all over and he had no idea I had such a strong grip.

Around 4AM I asked to get in the bathtub. I didn’t know how much longer I would be in labor and I wanted something to help me relax and rest as much as possible. The warm water felt so good! It didn’t help me much with the pain of the contractions, but it made the rests in between wonderful. Alice checked me and told me it was almost time to push. I couldn’t believe it. She went to gather up things and get things ready and told me when I felt the baby to let her know. Two contractions later I felt the baby. I couldn’t believe it—I actually FELT the baby. She told me I could push whenever I wanted to, and how to push. I tried several pushes in the tub, but I couldn’t get comfortable so she suggested I move back to the bed.

The bed was much more comfortable and  I felt like I was able to push better there.  After a few pushes Alice had me squat because the baby needed a little more help to finish being born. Once I squatted things got so intense. I just though they were intense before! One thing that is crazy to me is that in between contractions and pushing I felt like I could go to sleep. I actually asked for a break and she told me “No, the baby’s head is right there, you’re about to crown.”

Once she saw Livie’s head, she had Jacob look and he said, “She has dark hair! I can see her hair!” They looked a few couple more times and I remember thinking “Stop looking and help me get her out!” Jacob told me, “Sweetheart, she’s so close, only about another inch!”

I was getting to the point where I was exhausted and didn’t think I could go on and Alice told me to reach down and feel of my baby. When I felt and realized how close she was, that gave me the extra boost I needed to finish having her.

When they say “ring of fire” they mean it!

Her head was born and the cord was around her neck. Alice took care of it and the next push Jacob caught our little girl. She was beautiful and worth everything.

She was born at 4:50 AM after right at 3 hours of active labor, and one day before her due date.

 

Daddy cutting the cord.

Olivia Grace~7lbs 12oz, 19 3/4 inches

Livie love!!!

Our little Livie is already a month old! Time is flying by so fast. Here are a few pictures from her first month. Her homebirth story is on its way ;)

Daddy getting his first good look at his Princess.

Our new little family.

Adoring little aunts.

Me, my Daddy and Livie.

Elisabeth Elliot on Love

“This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience - it looks for a way of being constructive.
Love is not possessive.
Love is not anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own ideas.
Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage.
Love is not touchy.
Love does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails.
Love knows no limits to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that stands when all else has fallen.”

― Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman

Sugar and Spice

We have pink in our future! It’s time to start making bows and frilly dresses ;) I can’t wait for our Olivia Grace to get here!

A much more chipper update

I realized how very depressing and blue my last post was and I apologize! I will try to make up for it with this post.  I always want to honest in what I write however, and I don’t want to give the impression that the world is always rosy and perfect. I’m very human and constantly need the Lord’s strength. Thank you to everyone who commented and left words of encouragement for me—they were a great blessing, I promise!

We’ve been busy and got a lot of things accomplished over the weekend, in spite of my husband having to work extra hours (even on Saturday, which is rare). Over time is welcomed at this time of year though, and especially with the baby on the way.

I’ve had several good days recently and was able to feel more like myself and enjoy my new kitchen. Jacob enjoyed that greatly as it meant meals more like he was used to before first trimester sickness set in. I’ll be 12 weeks along tomorrow, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

One of my most favorite things about being pregnant so far has been the reaction from all the little people in my life. My sisters are beside themselves with excitement about being aunts and my little darlings at church are just about as excited. One of my little sweethearts, Mallorie, aged barely 4, when I told her that I was going to have a baby looked at my belly and said, “Well, it must be really tiny right now ‘cause you don’t have a belly at all. When Cayla (her cousin) was expecting Presley her belly was so big she didn’t have a lap!”

Jacob  worked in his garage for several hours Saturday and there are only a very few boxes left out there now. They are all in the house, but they are in the rooms where they belong, making it much easier for me to empty them now. He also set up his desk and arranged everything how he wanted it. We put his desk in the breakfast nook in the kitchen so we can visit while he works and I cook. I love it ;)

Ever the bookworm, my heart soared with joy as I unpacked my library and put it on the bookshelf. I felt like I was seeing old friends again after a long separation. It made me really want to read, but I am trying to exercise self-control and not start a book until I get more unpacking finished. I have a tendency to get lost in a book and let everything else go and we can’t have that right now!  I’m hoping for a bigger shelf for Christmas—I have too many books for the medium-sized one I have now. There are still three boxes of books that need to be unpacked.

 

Our post-Thanksgiving deerlease trip was a success, as you can see from the photo above. We are cutting up the deer Jacob shot, getting it ready to be ground into hamburger meat.  My father-in-law helped us and that really sped things up. Notice Jacob’s very comfortable camo t-shirt I’m wearing? ;) Something tells me I’ll be borrowing his shirts a lot in the future for around the house.

Last year we ground an entire doe into hamburger meat and it lasted us almost a year. We’ll do the same with this deer, and as it was bigger, hopefully it will last a full year.  It really helps out with the grocery bill when you have your own meat ;)

It’s almost time for Christmas—the tree is up, and it is 80 degrees outside. Welcome to Texas. We are hoping for a cool front in time for Christmas, but we shall see. In honor of our unseasonably warm weather, I thought I’d share the following song with y’all:

Tiny Packages

It has been said that the best gifts come in tiny packages—engagement rings, house keys, etc. The quality of the gift is not in the size or quantity. Tiny packages often hold the biggest surprises and change your life the most.

Next June we will be welcoming a tiny gift into our home and our names will change to Mama and Daddy. Glory to God!

Summer Snapshots

What have I been up to lately? Here are a few glimpses into our life the last couple weeks.

Apple pie—yum ;)

A trip to the hayfield…..

Faith had to check the hay like Papa was to make sure it was dry enough to bale.

Faith “helping” me getting the pickles ready for their three hour chill.

Bread and butter pickles—my first batch ever. I’ve helped Mom make them over the years but these were my first to make alone.

We also made apple pie filling the same day we made pickles. I can’t wait to try it out!

Meet Fergus, the latest addition to the JHR spread ;) He is just a few hours old here.

And last but not least, here is Jacob and his little sweetheart being silly:

Of Knights and Fair Maidens

  I have always loved fairy tales and love stories. When I was a little girl I ate, drank and slept fairy tales. One thing that always stood out to me was that no matter how bad things got for the heroine of the  story, she would always be rescued by her man. Her hero always saved her.

   There is rarely  a story you read that does not, in some way or another, feature a damsel-in-distress and a gallant knight in shining armor or a cowboy in a white hat rushing in to save her. There is always a villain after the lady and it is up to her true love to rescue her from  the clutches of evil.

    I think that deep down—even if she won’t admit it—every woman likes to be rescued. I think it is built into us and not something we can outgrow or become to mature or spiritual for. We were made to feel like we need to be saved or rescued and the hero in our lives was made to be be our husband, or our father if we are unmarried.

    Men are wired to be the hero. They like to take care of the ladies in their lives. Men like to rescue and fix things. They like to save the day. You can see this even in little boys. They like to dress up as the hero and catch the bank robber and untie the girl from the railroad track in the nick of time. They like to be “the man.” This doesn’t go away when grow up—I think it grows worse ;)

  Some women do not like feeling like they need saving. It makes them feel weak and helpless. (They are not, by any means, weak and helpless however.) They feel they have to be tough and do everything themselves and not depend on anyone. Even some married women are like this.

   I feel sorry for the women who try to smother the need to be rescued. They are robbing themselves AND their hero of a blessing.  Sometimes an area of perceived weakness can actually be an avenue to the greatest blessing you’ve ever had.

   Sometimes we don’t realize that we need to be rescued. Our hero might see something that we can’t see and it is up to us to trust him enough and let him rescue us. When we put self aside and fulfill our roles as laid out in Scripture,  contentment, joy and blessings will overwhelm us.

     One of the advantages of a wife staying at home is less drama than if the wife had a job outside the home. Maybe not less drama so to speak, but more manageable drama. For example: (and I have seen this many times!)

     The wife is having problems at the office. Whether it be issues with people, or a crazy workload, or whatever, she comes home and tells her husband about it. She is so stressed and sometimes distraught and she wants things to be fixed. Her hero—her husband—in most cases, can do absolutely nothing about it.  This frustrates him because he can’t fix it. All he can do is sit back and watch his wife grow more frustrated and stressed.

   On the other hand, most of the drama in a stay-at-home wife’s life is simpler. 95% percent of the time my issues and problems can be solved and handled by my hero. I’ve been rescued, he fixed the problem and feels macho. We’re both happy and all is well in the world.

   In the end, we all need to be rescued—heroes and damsels alike. From the beginning of time Christ has been rescuing his Bride from the evil one, even dying to save her. Even when she was  running from Him (her Savior!) and didn’t think she needed to be rescued, He had a plan that would wash her clean and draw her to him. In the end, He will carry us off to live in His castle in the sky. I can’t wait!

How to Pray for your Husband

Here are two reminders of ways to pray for our husbands. It is very needful that we lift our men up before the Lord every day, that He would strengthen them and help them.
There is no difference between the two graphics, choose whichever one your like best ;)

Click here to download

Click Here to Download

Paul Newman on Marriage

Please note: I do not support Hollywood’s way of life or their view on marriage and relationships, nor do I condone Paul Newman’s lifestyle. However, there’s some good food for thought and wisdom in the  following letter he wrote to second wife, Joanne Woodward, on their wedding day. They were married for 50 years, until his death parted them.

“ Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding rooms for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner."

Domestic Bliss and Trophy Bucks

Sequestered in their calm domestic bower,
   They sat together.  He in manhood’s prime
And she a matron in her fullest flower.
   The mantel clock gave forth a warning chime.
She put her work aside; his bright cigar
   Grew pale, and crumbled in an ashen heap.
The lights went out, save one remaining star
   That watched beside the children in their sleep.
She hummed a little song and nestled near,
   As side by side they went to their repose.
His arm about her waist, he whispered “Dear,”
   And pressed his lips upon her mouth’s full rose—
The sacred sweetness of their wedded life
   Breathed in that kiss of husband and of wife.

~Domestic Bliss, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Before a girl marries she has dreams and ideas about how her home will be one day. I had mine planned right 

down to the color of the kitchen cabinets and tea-time at three o’clock in the afternoon everyday.

 We girls dream of how we will run it, how it will be ordered and how things will be in our very own home.

  What many of us do not take into consideration is the fact that the husband in the home will likely have his own opinions and ideas about how he wants things done in his home. And those ideas just might not line up completely with yours. Even with my very easy-going, laid-back husband, there have been a few bumps in the road in our journey towards domestic bliss.
 Here is an example of domestic dreams clashing:

As I have mentioned before, my husband is an avid and dedicated hunter. I fulfilled one of his dreams by not only having land to hunt on (for free!) but also that I like venison (or deer meat, as we call it). His mother has never been able to eat deer meat, no matter how it is prepared, so having a wife that liked what he brought home meant a lot to him.
  Being the avid hunter that he is, my Jacob likes to have his trophies stuffed and mounted and displayed on the walls of our home. His mom has always loved this aspect of hunting and joyfully displays all of the trophies that her husband and until recently, her son would bring home.
  Unfortunately, mounts are not my cup of decorating tea.  My father and brothers have always hunted, but the extent of their trophy keeping was to mount the skull and antlers on the shop wall. While I love the rustic country look—which is how I have most of my home decorated—mounts on the wall have never really appealed to me except in a man’s office or study. But not in my livingroom….Trophy mounts were not in my plans.
  Guess what? When I married my sweet Jacob not only did I get him, but also his small herd of mounts. At the time it was only Dasher and Dancer (a whitetail buck and an axis buck), but soon our game preserve will welcome Wilbur (a Pineywoods hog skull) and Billy, a Corsican ram’s head. (Those are my nicknames for them—don’t tell Jacob! ;) )
  Our apartment back home is about half the size of where we are living now and we are running out of wall space. It was really starting to bother me because it didn’t fit into MY plans, it didn’t match up with what I wanted, I didn’t want to seem like a redneck, I, ME, MY……..What’s wrong with this picture? Yes, there is a lot of ME and MY opinions in it.
  I had to stop and remember that it’s  not just my home, it’s our home. If I had wanted a house where I got everything my way and completely to my tastes, I shouldn’t have gotten married.
  One of my responsibilities as a wife is to be the homemaker—to make our house a home. We as homemakers are supposed to make our homes havens and places of joy and relaxation for our families. It should be a pleasure to come home because that is where you are most comfortable and where the things that matter to you and are important to you are. I have to remember that what may not be important to me, may be very important to my husband. Something that might be a source of irritation for me may the thing that really makes our dwelling feel like home to him.
  And to be honest, my wonderful husband lets me have my way in everything concerning the house—except the mounts. Those are the only things he asked for and really wanted. Sure, I could have thrown a fit and insisted that we leave them at his parent’s house and he probably would have eventually given in to me.But it means a lot to him to be able to display his trophies in his own home.  It helps make it home. Just like the things that mean a lot to me—my great grandmother’s dishes, the doilies that I made—help make it home. He doesn’t complain about the feminine touches I’ve added here and there. It convicts me about how I’ve felt about his things.
  Marriage is about two people compromising on their desires and giving in to each other. And not just “Ok, I’ll let YOU win this time, but I’m not going to let you forget it!” It means to do it without grudging or complaining. It’s about thinking about the other person and what is important to them and putting them first before yourself. No one said it would be easy, but everyone says how wonderful the rewards of it are.
  Domestic bliss is not something that just “happens” when you return from your honeymoon or after you’ve been married a while. You have to work for it and sometimes the work is hard. You have to deny yourself—no one likes doing that! But if you are committed to making things work, you’ll do whatever is necessary, no matter how much of an inconvenience it is to you personally.
  So I’ve decided to get over my dislike for trophy mounts in the livingroom because Jacob likes them. I’ve decided to start taking even more pride in what a great hunter he is and to appreciate his trophies.
That doesn’t mean that I’ll stop being concerned about wall space though!;)

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EOA # 20

A few first anniversary images

 

One Year ago today…

This year of being married to my best friend has been the best ever!

Goodbye, 2011, Hello 2012

2012 AD is here. Where did last year go? My head is still spinning from all the events of 2011. I feel as though I’ve barely caught my breath and here comes a new year.

The holidays and the New Year are come and gone and my home is empty of our company and quiet again. Back to our routine, just we two…

  Last year was full of milestones and transitions for me. At the beginning of the year Jacob and I married, went on a wonderful honeymoon, then settled down to domestic bliss in the city. I became a stay at home wife, instead of a stay at home daughter. Instead of many family members to fill my day, I suddenly only had one, and most of the day he was at work.

Last year was also full of weddings! It seemed like everyone we knew was getting married. My best and oldest childhood friend married six weeks after I did, not to mention several others who tied the knot soon after.

I reached the ripe old age of 23 last month. I really don’t feel like I am that old—I still feel like I’m seventeen!

I moved twice last year. I don’t like moving. I can see now that living an hour away from my family was just practice and preparation for living four hours away from them now.

I am so excited to see what this new year holds for us. I generally don’t make resolutions—though I will have a few goals I’d like to reach and areas I’d like to improve upon.

  For example, I would like to become a better manager of my time. I can get away with a lot of wasted time now, but once we have children, that won’t float.  I want to do better with menu planning and ordering how the house is run. I want our home to be a haven for Jacob and me. I don’t want it to be a place of disorder and be unable to be restful and peaceful.  I want to be more productive this year in my sewing and other domestic pursuits.

I want to be a better helpmeet this year. Last year was a transition year—from a daughter to a wife. Now that we are nearing our first anniversary, I want to make this year the best yet.

I want to grow more in my love for Jacob, but even more than that, I want to grow more and deeper in my love for God. I want to be what He wants me to be. I want to live my little everyday life in line with His will and His Word. I want to deal with and handle situations according to His word, and answer with a soft answer, full of grace and wisdom. I want to bless the people I come in contact with—whether they be church people or people at the store—and give them a glimpse of God’s love.

Well, I guess I have made a few resolutions. :) Happy New Year!

More of Him

If you would to download this picture, right click on it, then select "Save As" or "Save Image As"  (C) 2011 Country Mouse Musings

I found this poem probably ten years ago and painted a picture to go with it and had it framed for my mom. I don’t remember where I found it but I’ve always remembered what it said. It speaks to me and convicts me even more now that I am older and have a home of my own.
  If we were to be given three wishes, would they be the same as the ones in the poem? Or would they be different?
   I have to admit that my heart isn’t always in the right place and on some of my weaker days I might wish for something else.  Sometimes the things I wish for have no eternal value at all. I wish to be out of situations that make me uncomfortable, when in reality I was placed there for my good, so I could mature and my walk with God grow deeper. I fail to see what is really happening because all I can perceive is my own little bubble of right now and what makes me happy right now. I pray and ask the Lord to give me wisdom and perception to see and realize where I am and what is happening. I ask for contentment and grace to bear what is being asked of me.
Do I really want to know Him more? Is that the driving force behind everything I do? Is that what consumes me? When Jacob and I were first getting to know each other we talked for hours on end. I  paid attention to everything he said and wanted to know what he liked, what made him happy, what drove and motivated him. I wanted to know what his goals and dreams were. I just wanted to know him.
  As I got to know him, I came to love him. His love for me began to help heal the scars from my years of rebellion and that made me love him even more and ache to be with him.
   Is it any different with the Lord? The more time we spend with Him, the more we pursue Him, the more our love for Him will deepen. We will ache to be in His presence and at His feet. If we draw nigh to Him, He will draw nigh to us (James 4:8).
   I want to be the woman that He has called me to be and wants me to be. I want the Fruits of Spirit to be evident and at work in my life. I want to be an asset, not a liability. I don’t want to be an embarrassment to Him or to His Name.
   I want to love how He loves—without respect of persons and unreservedly. I want to be meek, gentle, full of joy,  longsuffering, temperate, full of His grace, merciful, quick to forgive and forget, slow to anger, patient, self-sacrificing—I want all of the attributes of Christ in my life.
  If He asks me to do something or to give up something, I want to be at a place in my walk with Him to obey immediately without reservation, because I trust Him with my life. We don’t always understand why He asks some things of us—things that hurt or are uncomfortable. But if we submit and say “Your will, not mine”, down the road we will see how it was for our best and we’ll be so thankful that we obeyed. He will not ask us to do something that we are incapable of doing. We may no be able to do it in and of ourselves, but we can do all things through Him (Phil. 4:13).  Sometimes things are sent our way to make us lean on Him more and draw our strength from Him.

More of You, more of You,
I’ve had all, but what I need is just more of You.
Of things I’ve had my fill, and yet I hunger still,
Empty and bare, Lord hear my prayer for more of You.

EOA # 15

O Give us Homes

O give us homes built firm upon the Savior, Where Christ is Head and Counselor and Guide;
Where ev'ry child is taught His love and favor And gives his heart to Christ, the crucified:
How sweet to know that tho his footsteps waver His faithful Lord is walking by his side!
O give us home with godly fathers, mothers, Who always place their hope and trust in Him;
Whose tender patience turmoil never bothers, Whose calm and courage trouble cannot dim;
A home where each fins joy in serving others, And love still shines, tho days be dark and grim.
O give us homes where Christ is Lord and Master, The Bible read, the precious hymns still sung;
Where pray'r comes first in peace or in disaster, And praise is natural speech to ev'ry tongue;
Where mountains move before a faith that's vaster, And Christ sufficient is for old and young.
O Lord, our God, our homes are Thine forever!  We trust to Thee their problems, toil, and care;
Their bonds of love no enemy can sever If Thou art always Lord and Master there:
Be Thou the center of our least endeavor Be Thou our Guest, our hearts and homes to share.

 Barbara B. Hart, 1916
Jean Sibelius, 1865-1957

EOA #14 

Two Years Ago Today....

Two years ago today, Jacob asked for permission date me. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. It has been the most fun, wonderful, exciting, and full two years of my life. I was reading over our story yesterday and marveled anew at how the Lord brought us and everything together.
  I can't imagine being with anyone else. If it is this wonderful now, and we've only just begun, I can't imagine how it will be in a few years, and then in twenty years....
  To sum it up, the following quote from Winnie-the-Pooh says how I feel: