Morning sickness has hit me hard. It is actually all day sickness and no amount of crackers or protein or you-name-it will make it go away. Wearing Seabands has helped some, but most days it doesn’t matter. I’ve been spending a lot of time in bed or on the couch, looking at my bare walls that need decorating and house that needs cleaning. It is hard not to get really blue and have a pity party about it. There is a wonderful little reason that I going through all of this, and I am SO blessed to be a homemaker so that I can be at home during this time of nausea instead of having to go to work and suffer like many of my friends have.
Feeling overwhelmed has been my state of mind over the last several weeks. I have so many things that I’d like to get accomplished and things that desperately need to be done. Sadly however, most days I’m glad if I can get up and be dressed and have a few things done before my husband comes home. I’ve been sick a lot over the last several weeks and I tire easily. I feel like I am barely getting by, struggling to keep up running our home and all the things that go with it. I have felt like I’ve been neglecting my husband, he’s had to fend for himself and care for me so much lately. This a hard place for someone who likes to take care of everything herself to be in.
Having just moved into our new home, it makes me even more eager to get things how I want them. I was battling with morning/all day sickness while we were moving so only the bare essentials were unpacked.
Jacob has been such a trooper through all of this and I know he is looking forward to the end of the first trimester as much as I am. He has taken such good care of me and treated me like a queen and looked past all of the unfinished, untidy things around the house. I am very blessed to have him.
My mother has come to see me a few times and made me sit while she cleaned my house and cooked for me. That was such a blessing to me and to Jacob—I didn’t want her to leave! ;)
It is days (and weeks) like these that make me remember I can’t do it alone, that I must draw my strength from Him. I cling to verses like the ones below and encourage myself that this will pass and soon I’ll have a clean house again and eventually a baby in my arms and it will be all worth it.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Psalm 61:1-2 (KJV)
Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.