Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Are you a Lady?


Yesterday I had a rather unpleasant experience. I had made a quick trip to the grocery store to grab a few things for supper and much to my dismay found when I came out of the store that I had a flat tire. This was the first time anything like this has ever happened to me. Thankfully, I held it together, calmly put my groceries in the car and sent a text to my husband telling him what happened and asking what I needed to do.

   Seconds later my phone rang and Jacob sounded like he was about to leave work and come get me as he told me what to do. He said to get a couple cans of fix-a-flat and that should fix it so I could get home. Then he asked if I knew how to use it. I laughed a little and said no. I grew up with a Daddy and two brothers who took care of everything for we ladies. He explained what I needed to do and said to call him if I needed him.

  I trudged back in the store and bought what I needed and set out to fix the tire. I did exactly as he told me and everything worked out fine and I made it home without incident.  I was talking to my mom about it later that day and she said that she was proud of me ;) I didn’t beg him to leave work and come fix it. I handled it. She said I was a helpmeet and not a “dumb cluck” (a term from Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl)

I was glad everything worked out so well, but one thing really ruffled my feathers. For the entire fifteen or so minutes that I sat there working on my tire (and I had some trouble at first) I know of at least six men that walked by, looked at me and kept walking. And some of the men were the grandfatherly type—the type you would expect to stop and help! I was stunned that not one man stopped at least to check on me.  Where I grew up, men stop and help ladies. I guess that is one of the advantages of living in a small town.

I was just about to get mad and go on a rant about what this world is coming to—where men won’t stop to help a lady—when I realized that most of the time women get offended when a man offers to help them. Many women are so soaked and saturated in feminist lies that they won’t let a man be a gentleman. I would have welcomed some help, but they didn’t know that.

This makes me think of an incident my mother and I witnessed one day. We were headed into a store and there was a woman just ahead of us. A gentleman was headed out and held open the door for all of us. The woman in front of us huffed and puffed and said “I can get the door myself!” and opened the other door and stormed through. My mom and I were mortified that a woman could be so rude to a man who was just using common courtesy. We walked through the door he was holding open and thanked him and said that we appreciated it.

  Women can be so afraid of being perceived as weak and unable to take care of themselves.  This causes them to act out in ways that are unbecoming to them. Unnecessary rudeness that does nothing except potentially hurt another woman later down road is often the result. Do they not realize that they are affecting the future and others by how they are acting? They shun anything they consider “girlie” and do not want to be ladylike. They think ladies are weak. (These are usually the ones who rant about chivalry being dead and they are in fact the ones who helped murder it!)

A woman can’t be a lady if she will not let a man be a gentleman. Now I realize that there are some men who are NOT gentlemen in any sense of the word. A lady gives a man a chance and the opportunity to be a gentleman. A lady allows a gentleman to help her, but that doesn’t mean she can’t help herself. A lady is not a weakling. In fact, I think it takes more strength in some cases to be helped than to do it yourself.

I try to encourage the gentlemen around me and let them know that they and their efforts are appreciated. When boys are little gentlemen I try to lavish them with praise.  I realize that real gentlemen are few and far between, but the same could be said of real ladies. Perhaps if we strive to be ladies, perhaps more gentlemen will come out of hiding ;)




Linking up today with:

Encourage One Another



  1. Such true thoughts! I had a similar experience a couple of months ago. I had to replace my windshield wipes on the the rain...with my two boys waiting in the car. I was on the phone with my husband as he walked me through it. As you said, several men walked by, but none offered to help. It is easy to get frustrated when I'm attempting to do something that I have no idea how to do and all of these guys are walking by. And yet, what a great time for introspection...sure I would have loved help at that moment. But how often do I frown on help...especially from my husband? How easy it is to let a little bit of a feminist attitude into my heart and not accept my husband's love and help.

    Very thought provoking post!

  2. Very good post. I am so used to doing things myself (no brothers) that I forget sometimes to let men help me...not that they offer very often.

  3. Thanks for stopping by ladies! I know, sometimes it takes a conscious effort from me with my husband---the one it should be the easiest with! It's definitely an area I need some work on.
    Racheal, sadly you are right--there are very few men that offer help. That makes us appreciate the ones who do even more!