Baby Shower Number 1

After this photo was taken MORE gifts showed up—this is just a fraction of what we received.
Two weeks ago the ladies in our church gave us a FABULOUS baby shower for Olivia Grace. This was the baby girl shower in a long stretch of baby boys that have been born in our church over the last year, and I think the ladies were excited about buying pink ruffles and frills.
My mom, sisters and one of my grandmothers were able to come in to town and be with me for the shower—I enjoyed getting to have them with me. Olivia’s aunties enjoyed the shower and were very interested to see what all she would get.
Here are a few photos from the evening, taken by Wendi:



The ladies did an amazing job with the food and decorations and my dear friend Kristin from In Mother Words, made my delicious and lovely cake.
I’m *quite* pregnant feeling now, and by looking at me there is no doubt that there is a bun in the oven, not just too many extra donuts.
We are at almost 30 weeks and it is so exciting to see the number of weeks until I get to hold my girl in my arms grow smaller.
In amongst all of the baby fun, I am working on projects for not one, but THREE wedding this summer. They are a monthly occurrence (literally!) beginning in June and ending in August. Two miniature brides dresses, a mother of the bride dress, a bridesmaid dress and for the wedding in August I’m altering and modestifying ;) the bride’s gown. Most of these will be completed by the end of May. Needless to say, I’ve been busy and will be for the next several weeks.
I’m thankful for all of the busyness, as it will help the time till Olivia gets here go by fast. I’m so ready to meet my baby girl!

Fears and Doubts

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – II Timothy 1:7 KJV

For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us. –II Corinthians 1:20 KJV

Fears and doubts creep into the corners of our minds, often unnoticed. They start so small that we often don’t realize they are there until they have such a grip on our hearts and minds that we are paralyzed. They begin to slowly eat away at our confidence in our Creator until we begin to question His promises and doubt His word. We can be so immobilized by our fears that we are unable to obey the Lord when He calls us.

  The enemy knows our weaknesses. That has been established since Eden when Satan tempted Eve and asked her “Hath God  said?” (Genesis 3:1). He knows our weaknesses and he exploits them as much as he can. Our weaknesses in the flesh can make us doubt God. The enemy will use the things or hopes dearest to our hearts to cause doubts and fears to take root.

Most of the time, once we realize that we are overtaken by fears and doubts, repent and conquer them, we realize how silly and unfounded our fears were.

My own battle with doubts and fears was a hard one.  From my childhood, I have always wanted children of my own. I have always loved children and caring for them and little people hold a special place in my heart. There would be a literal ache in my arms and heart for children—even before I was married. I would cry out the Lord and ask for children.

When I was in my teens, on several occasions different ministers or people with influence in my life would come to me—out of the blue—and tell me that I would be a mother and that God would give me the desires of my heart.  Oh I would rejoice and get so excited and praise the Lord for His promises to me. I was ecstatic! The Lord was going to give me the desires of my heart! I had received confirmation from many witnesses and now I was breathlessly awaiting the day that it would happen.

  About this time the Lord laid on my heart a heavy burden for ladies who are unable to have children or have suffered miscarriages and loss of children. I ached for their empty arms, and when I heard their stories my heart broke for them and many times I shed tears for them as I called out their names in prayer, asking the Lord to give them a baby.

  Then one day when I was about 20, out of nowhere, came a nagging little voice, “What if you can’t have children?” It stopped me dead in my tracks. I scoffed at it. “That is ridiculous” I said. I laughed because I had been given a promise of children and it had been confirmed many times over. Fertility had never been a problem in our family—on either side. I shook the voice off and went on my way.

It was a while before I heard it again. “What if you can’t have children?” I went through the same thoughts as I had the first time—remembering the promises of God, reminding myself of the confirmations I’d been given, and it went away. But it came back. Over and over and over and over again like a song you can’t get out of your head, until one day I asked that question. “What if I can’t have children?” I opened the door wide and let fears and doubts stroll in and take up residence in my heart.

  It didn’t happen overnight. It was a slow, gradual process—like water slowly cutting through a rock.  There would be times that I would stand up to that fear and doubt and say, “No! God has promised me children. He cannot lie.” The fear would calmly answer back, “Did He specifically say actual children of your own? Or did He mean spiritual children?” “And why did He give you such a burden for barren women? What if you are one of them?”

I never told anyone about the battle I was in.

  I forgot about it for awhile and got caught in the realization of another of my dearest desires—being loved by and marrying a Godly man. The fears and doubts were pushed to a dark corner while I basked in the light of new love and a new chapter in my life. The future was bright!

After a little break, the fears surfaced again. I fought hard this time. The Lord had given me a husband, and He would give me children.  The fear and doubt agreed with me, “Yes, He gave you a husband, but barren women have husbands too. What if you can’t have children?”

  This fear was further fed by the fact that I was on hormonal birth control. We’d decided to use birth control for several reasons for a little while after we got married. It wasn’t a long term decision, it was only temporary, but it fed my fears. I knew going into it that it was not good for me, but I wasn’t going to be on it for very long, so the good side of it outweighed the bad.

Finally the time came when we’d been married about 18 months, we’d been praying asking the Lord when the right time for us to start a family was and I stopped taking birth control. I’d been told that it could take anywhere from 1 month to a year to get pregnant after being on birth control and we were prepared for that possibility.

I began asking the Lord for a baby, ignoring the fears and claiming the promises He’d given me. About three weeks after I stopped taking the pill, we were at church and towards the end of service we were gathered around the altars praying. I don’t remember what I was praying about, but out of nowhere a Voice told me, “You will not be alone for long. I am going to give you a baby.” I began to cry and thank the Lord for letting me know that He had heard my prayers. As further confirmation, a few minutes later, the minister said from the pulpit, “Rejoice, the Lord has heard your prayers and your promise is on its way.” When we left church, I excitedly told Jacob what had happened. He was very happy.

A week later, I started. The fears tried to creep up, but this time I would have none of it. I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord was going to fulfill His promise to me. I decided that it didn’t matter if it took a whole year for us to conceive, I was going to rejoice and thank God for my baby and know that every month that went by and I wasn’t pregnant, was one month closer to my womb being filled.

A month later, I found out that I was pregnant. After seeing the positive result on the test I wept and praised the Lord for nearly an hour. He had kept His promises to me and was giving me a baby.

Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life. –Proverbs 13:12 KJV

The Bride

Many times in Scripture the Church is referred to as a woman--the beloved and the Bride of Christ. We as ladies are privileged to be able to be the physical representation of the Church to the world. We are able to show the world what a Blood-bought bride looks like and how she lives in her new life.
  The parallels and contrasts that are repeatedly drawn in the Bible confirm this. The similarities of the husband and wife relationship and of Christ and and the Church fill the pages of the Bible, not only in the New Testament, but also the Old Testament books. The books of the Prophets are replete with examples of the Lord wooing His beloved Israel (a type and foreshadow of the Church) from her sin-filled, empty life to a new life with Him.
  There is much we can learn and glean from the nation of Israel in the Old Testament. The people of Israel were different and set apart from the other nations of the world around them. They had a different lifestyle, a different set of rules, different dress, diet and style of worship. This was because of their relationship with Jehovah, the God Who led them out of Egypt and the wilderness. There was no doubt to Whom they belonged, or Who they worshipped.

  There wasn't a question of "Are they Hittites or Hebrews?" or "Well, they kind of look like Egyptians, but they talk about Jehovah so they must be Israelites." No, there was none of that. Everyone knew what they were and what they stood for.

That is how it should be with the Church. When people look at us, it should immediately be apparent that we are set apart. There should be no question whether we are His or not.

  Most of the time you can look at a married woman and at a glance see what her husband believes and stands for. If a woman is truly in love with her husband and in submission to him, she will be the image and the embodiment of what he believes and values.

   Since I became a married lady earlier this year, I am beginning to understand the Christ and His Bride relationship more fully than in times past. We married, I took his name and left my old life--my childhood--behind. Everything is new. A new home, a new church, new dishes, new furniture, new clothes :)

  I love my husband. Actually, I adore him and think that he hung the moon AND the stars. To please him is and make him happy is one of my greatest joys. I know what things make him feel loved. I know how he likes me to dress--what colors are his favorite on me--and how he likes my hair to be fixed. I know what he would like to see in my life.

  It is my privilege and my delight to please him and conform to his tastes and preferences. I love him so much and the best way I can think of to show him is to do the things he likes. It shows him that he has first place in my heart and affections, that my world revolves around him. This makes him adore and spoil me even more than he already does. He misses me when we are apart and if I send him a text or email that says "I miss you and love you and can't wait till you get home" it makes his day. When I brag on him, or praise him or something he has done, it just triples the effect. He loves and cherishes and adores me even more, and that makes me want to do more for him. It's like a circle :)

  I can't help but stop and think that if my earthly husband loves for me to lavish attention on him, and do things for him just because I love him, and tell him how wonderful he is, how much more does our Bridegroom love attention and affection and praise from His bride? When we do things that He asks, just because we love Him, not just because it will get us to Heaven. When we do things for Him, when we conform to His will, out of love and not expecting a reward, how do you think that makes Him feel?

  I don't want there to be any doubt His mind that I love Him completely and unreservedly.

EOA Link-up 

24 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 10

Yesterday was spent busily packing and preparing to leave, with almost no time to write, so today is catch-up day.

Today I am thankful for my church and pastors. I was blessed with a wonderful church and pastor growing up--I was at the same church and had the same  pastor till I married-- and I thank the Lord every day for them. They helped my parents place in me a love for the Word of God and for Truth. That love helped carry me through some rocky times growing up. I am so thankful for their Godly influence in my life.
 My church family is like family to me and I miss them greatly. It was so good to see them all last Sunday when Jacob took me home for a visit.
 Even though I was transplanted from the place and  people I loved so much, the Lord has given me a wonderful new church who already loves me greatly, and I them. My new church is home now. We have amazing leadership in our church that I am growing in respect for more everyday.
 The Lord has blessed me with many sweet friends at my new home and I am so thankful for them. Gone are the days of feeling out-of-place and like an outsider.
  And now, we'll be moving to a new church for a few months, and I already miss everyone. I didn't realize how much everyone already meant to me til now. That makes me happy, because there was a time when I wondered if I would ever really feel like I belonged there.
  I have been so blessed throughout my whole life with wise, kind pastors and loving churches who really care about the lost.